CNN Fox News Truce

CNN’s new boss (what happened to the old boss?), Chris Licht is rumored to call on the cable news network to get a truce going with the Fox News Channel. The scuttlebutt around the farm is part of CNN’s overhaul to “unwoke” some of its perspectives.

Calling off picking random pointless fights with competitors’ channels to toss out essentially more of the same partisan red meat for the yellers to have something easy to hoot at could make room for more in-depth coverage, explainer journalism, and even better entertainment, laughs with more and yet less gravitas at the same time, jokes so good they energize viewers and listeners, yet also put them at ease and leave them without feeling like they have to go out today, and chokeslam somebody out today, to save Asian, baby, Jesus H. Christ from literally white, grown-up, gender-conforming, cismale Hitler.

So sure, there’s a good idea. Good on them if they can keep it up and do something and keep doing it for a year without significant malfunctions. In the old business, they used to say that if you can keep it up for a year, you’re accomplishing something.

But the right-wing blogosphere is surely worried about Brian Stelter and Oliver Darcy’s jobs. According to Brett T over at Twitchy, that’s pretty much their entire job at CNN at this point.

They sit around and watch Fox News all day and think of the most intensely not edgy comments they can wring out of their focus-grouped up beyond all recognition souls to say about how stupid Fox News is and how stupid Republicans are. Here’s Brett over at Twitchy with the skinny on the Ben Affleck contributing to the script of Good Will Hunting level of quality in the CNN writing room:

“Stelter is more than willing to grab a screencap of a Fox News chyron and tweet it out to demonstrate how irresponsible Fox News is. Heck, loathing Fox News is so much a part of Stelter’s identity that he wrote a whole book about it and Donald Trump. We’re not sure if anyone read it, but it’s somewhere in a warehouse.”

So they need a new villain. And they can’t go with Fox News anymore. They could pick cancer, but everyone’s doing that nowadays, so nothing original there. What they could do is they could go to war with MSNBC. I hate to be the one to suggest it myself, personally, out loud, in a written article under a pen name, but you know, they could start picking random pointless fights with MSNBC instead of Fox News, and not even announce it or allude to it, or seem even to be aware that that’s what they’ve ended up doing. That’s how I would do it. But go hard for their market share. Not just with the audience, though that’s important too. Advertisers, like really aggressive, nasty business, poaching off their clients, making better offers, guerrilla warfare type of gum, you know.

And also, their props online the proper respects the Internet pays to good court awareness of the entire stage as it unfolds, something like meme magic or whatever it is, karma, use whatever term you like. Not for the quick getting one over on the other guy, but yearning toward a more excellent kind of political correctness, toward political correctness that means aging perfectly in manifold articulation as a meme proceeds through the substrate of time, and space, and global planetary networked computation sliding down, down, down, the final countdown to conscious infinite singularity.